Back To Basics

 

 "Let's start at the beginning. This is a football. These are the yard markers. I'm the coach. You are the players." Legendary Green Bay Packers Football Coach, Vince Lombardy

Had a great discussion earlier this week with some local youth workers/networkers. I'm asking them to take a more of a pastoral role over several groups, not just one (geographical area director) and then using the principles we have developed for group development to oversee 4 local groups and build another. As we discussed influence, relationship and current networking templates, we had a couple of great takeaways.

I was casting vision for more leadership; more groups but the more I did, the more I felt like we were contriving something old, outdated and not healthy. Long story short, here are a couple of the take aways we have been pondering since:

Movement not meeting - we need to think bigger and think world change, not ihop back room; changing lives, strengthening ministry, growing the kingdom, not 20 people sitting in a round table.

Relationship is the resource - personal relationships are the most important things in life, period. Our relationship with Christ, spouse, family, friends...why then are we so caught up on events, promotion and someone sponsoring a free lunch/training. We need to find a way to harvest the collective. Everyone has something to offer and everyone needs something someone else has. We are in this thing together, lets figure out a way to significantly connect with each other; from that synergy, momentum, strength and health abide.

Networking is the fruit not the tree - if we purposely find ways to cultivate the above, if we work at making sure the tree is healthy, relationships are solid and pure, fruit has to happen.

For me it's time to simplify things, get back to basics and think people; think big, but think people.

Why Youth Worker Networking Sucks

The following started as a letter to NNYM Dallas and Collin County Network Leaders but quickly became a diatribe on the state of YW Networking as we know it, why it sucks and how we MUST work to make things better.  This is a letter to ALL Youth Workers.

I’m writing to all Dallas and Collin County Network Leaders.

I used to think network groups were solid; set em up and let em go.  After  18 months of formally working with the National Network of Youth Ministry as the Metro Dallas Coordinator, overseeing Dallas and Collin Counties, I can truly say, I couldn’t have been more wrong.  Youth Worker Networking groups are liquid and I’m trying to find ways to embrace that and find traction for our groups both for today and tomorrow.

Why are Youth Worker Networking groups so fragile?  I believe it has to do with the nature of “Professional Youth Ministry” and a misunderstanding of Youth Worker Networking.

High Turnover Rate in YW’s

No surprise here: every survey points to the fact that Youth Workers don’t stay in current positions very long.  I’ve tracked 40% turnover among our group, non-leader participants (those in leadership positions stay longer.  I’ve got some theories to explore later).  That means that a successfully launched group with 20 members that is vibrant and healthy will, in two years turn into a four top at the IHOP.

Misunderstanding about the Purpose of Youth Worker Networking

For a while I wanted to stop using the term “networking’ because it is nebulous and meant different things to as many people as had an opinion.  But then I sent a tweet, checked my facebook and realized that people see the value in “social” networking, although they probably didn’t agree on what it means but they realized it was valuable.  I guess even though there may be widespread (dis)agreement on what general networking is each person uses if for their own ends.  Nice!  So, what is the purpose of Youth Worker Networking or Networking groups?

No Value Place on Youth Worker Networking

Some see “off the grid” networking as NOTworking.  Too bad, they fall so short.  Others see it as a place to promote their cool youth group event.  You know , the, “Hey come to my event and bring your students because I want big numbers and really don’t care about anything else and my event will probably still suck because this is how I’m promoting it” guy.  Way off and getting colder.  Still others see it Youth Worker Networking as a monthly lunch meeting – getting warmer, barely.  Here is a concept: RELATIONSHIP IS THE RESOURCE!!  Read that last sentence out loud, memorize it and let is set you free.  Your are the resource!  The person across the table from you is the resource!  Everyone has something to give and something to get.

We Need to Think Forward

Thinking about Youth Work into the next decade two things stand out bigger than ever and we need to deal with them if formal Youth Work is to survive.  If we fail to deal with these two issues, the Youth Worker of today, as we know it, will become extinct.

1.        We need to redefine who the Youth Worker is.  Here is a hint; its not ONLY the guy who wears skinny jeans, goes to all the local High School games and has an office at the church that says “Youth Pastor”.  There is a place in our next decade paradigm for this “Youth Pastor Guy” but he is not the only horse in the race.  Everyone who works with teenagers is a Youth Worker; the high school coach, the ballet teacher, the Jr Optimist leader, the scout troop sergeant, the guitar teacher and the parent.  Everyone who works with teenagers is a Youth Worker and we need to think about how we can offer our services to recruit and train them.

2.       We need to define or assign value to relational networking.  I’m blown away about how Youth Workers overlook and dismiss this.  Last year, According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 70 percent of all jobs are found through networking. In 2009 1 in 6 people married met their mate through social networking/online dating.  Ludite, silo Youth Work is going the way of the dinosaur.  We need to not only find value but find ways to add more value and promote the value of the Youth Worker Network group.

So where do we go from here?

Think!  We have to change our thinking about who a Youth Worker is and find ways to connect with the new breed and find ways to mesh the new and old breeds.

Database!  We lose track of 40% of our people each year.  Sometimes we lose entire churches form moving or relocating or extinction.  Other times churches spring up and we don’t know about it.  Someone needs to 1, locate churches, 2, find out who the youth contact is and 3, give the info to a local network lead that can and will do something about it.  Churches are only one avenue of the new breed of Youth Worker, how can we identify and find new databases of the new breed?

Monetization!  There is influence in Youth Worker Networking but not necessarily finance.  We need to find creative ways of funding the groups and the people building and sustaining the groups.  Those creating the groups and the value are often the ones without a full time salary backing and the important task of building networks is left to those who can raise their own funds.  There has to be a way to turn influence into capital in a ministry setting.

PR!  What is the only reason to start a Youth Worker Networking group?  To change the world by starting  a movement to reach more students for Christ. Every movement needs a propaganda machine.  We need consistent, regular, quality info and PR.  Good communication and PR can bring effective talk points, assign value and grow the movement.

Unity!  We need to esteem each other, make time for each other and do life together.

I know there are more things needed and I guess this is the point where we harvest the power of the collective.  Please share your thoughts.

Hey Soul Surfer

Just returned from a special screening of the April movie release of Soul Surfer.  I have to write about it because it is a powerful, useful and entertaining media experience.

This is not a movie review but it is some insight on the movie experience and some (hopefully) useful application.

This screening was hosted by the PR and screen team that worked for the movie.  During a post-movie Q & A she touted this movie as a Hollywood faith based movie effort.  Interesting.  Since Sony owns TriStar and some type of partnership with Integrity music, I guess there is some synergy or relationship that makes sense.  Anyway, the movie was done via Hollywood and not via local church (fireproof, etc).

Two things about the Hollywood influence before some specifics about the flick.

The cast was all star; not A list but defiantly some names we all know: Dennis, Quaid (everything...), Helen Hunt (everything..., Annasophia Robb (Because of Winn-Dixie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, etc), Kevin Sorbo (Hercules {i had to put that}) and playing the part of cool and sexy Youth Workers everywhere....drum roll please...Carrie Underwood.

Also, I thoroughly enjoyed the SS soundtrack but i can find any info on it currently.  I'm pretty sure i heard Switchfoot, Coldplay and a couple of U2 joints.  Also pretty sure there will be a Carrie Underwood tune somewhere but since the movie wasn't finished there were no closing credits, which is where it will probably land.

The movie was inspirational, motivational and a great tool to use to surface conversation with friends; believers and non alike.  Here are some favorite scenes and potential discussion starters.
  *  Eerie Jaws flashbacks - There were some eerie underwater scenes that reminiscent me of my jr high days when i saw the movie jaws (no this is NOT a spoiler because we all know she looses an arm to a shark).  Lots of discussion about not being in control or know what will happen next but how we can make the most of things.
  *  I can do all things - There are a couple of great scenes that they evoke the Philippians passage; one pre attack and one post.  Together these scenes ask lots of questions and answer some too.  Can we really do all things?  Does that mean everything or anything, or both?
  *  Dont apologize for compassion - at one point Bethany sees something  that causes her to cry.  She apologizes and turns away.  Her Youth Worker tells her to not apologize for compassion, its who God made you.  Great thought about being real.  This was also a pivotal point in the movie (i wont go into applicational detail here and risk a spoiler)
  *  The interactive youth group lesson - "Pastor Underwood" finishes up a great/typical youth talk during one scene using a powerpoint presentation.  She makes the point that things arent always as them seem.  Actually, trust me on this one, i didnt describe it so good here but it is a great moment of teaching, creativity and youth grouping.
  *  The bad chick - we were told that there was not actually ONE villain in the story but that the bad chick was an amalgamation of lots of evil surf vixens.  At one point Bethany thanks her nemesis for making her better.  Awwww.

Its a great movie about redemption and winning against tall odds and how can you go wrong with that?  So, this Hollywood faith movie has all the ingredients of win (faith or not) an all star cast, a beautiful Hawaiian surf background, heros, villains, drama, emotion and triumph.

.....:::::Links for more info:::::....

Bethany Hamilton - this chick is solid.  i'd put some links but there are a ton, just google her.

Youth Worker Resources - for networking and resources in the DFW area www.pureymr.com
Interlinc has some great materials for the film including an interactive DVD bible studies, posters, and curriculum.  My buddy Troy Hargrave (thargrave@interlinc-online.com) co-hosted the special screening also gave me free stuff from Interlinc-online.com also go here for more SS resources from Inter-linc   http://bit.ly/edfTS7

Check Your Vitals; especially for the new year!

Everything that is healthy needs to be checked up on.  People, systems, automobiles and even our own body need a little assessment, analyzation and a few tweaks every so often.  The start of the year is a great time to do just that, check yourself out; give your self a personal EKG.  I check myself regularly on the following areas.  This is not an exhaustive list but is it some things i'm currently checking myself on.

1.  Beneficial Contacts
Check the little stack of business cards on your desk.  How many of them have been acquired in the last 90 days?  How many of them are significant?  Getting good contacts is seldom an accident. A good strategy for obtaining key contacts is a must for a healthy check up.
Exercise:  list three ways you can meet significant or "upper" contacts in the next 30 days (hint; think network groups, social establishments and friends that can introduce you).

2.  Recent Accomplishments
You need to have a list of you most recent "rock star" accomplishments.  These should be in your head, your heart and definitely written down somewhere.  You never know when someone will ask you what you do or when you might have to defend your job.  Dont have any recent?  Get some ASAP!

3.  Forward Vision
Vision is assumed but it shouldn't be. I want to talk about a big and forward leaning vision but first we have to talk about vision period.  If you have a vision, make sure it is big and not only you but those you lead can be very passionate about it. If you dont have one; step one is realization, step two is acquiring.

4.  Support
Is your family healthy?  What is your spouse complaining about right now?  Is your pace sustainable in light of your support systems?  Do you have replenishing relationship or are you the perpetual giver?  Find balance, find support, find support for you and your mission.

5.  A Passionate Elevator Pitch
You need at least 2 elevator pitches ready to go at anytime; especially in youth ministry.  Here is an example; someone asks you what your real job is...you launch in to elevator 1.0.  Example two, someone notices how well your ministry is doing and yet how underfunded it is...you launch in to elevator 2.0.  If you dont know what an elevator pitch is, email me.

6.  Physical Well Being
Lets face it, if you are not doing well yourself, you are probably not your best for others.  So, eat 4 servings of fruits and veg each day, 30 minutes of exercise 3 times a week, get a good nights sleep, keep your mind stimulated, take your vitamins, surround yourself with good friends and stay plugged in to God.

PS get your annual physical too!

Ormel & Cindy

Today I was in the lobby of my home church chatting with friends, wearing a cool jacket that usually gets most of its use during the Christmas season and getting ready to settle into a warm pew, when in walked Cindy.

Cindy didnt look like the rest of the crowd in their christmas best, although she was wearing a green sweatshirt. She walked right up to our holy huddle (uh hum) and had no problem with asking for $8.00 for a bus pass for her and her husband.

If you were like me, you could guess the rest.  She was gonna tell me sh needed money for gas or for a bus ticket to get her hungry baby and wheel chaired husband to the soup line because they haven't eaten since they were evicted by a satanic landlord.  At least that is what i thought was coming.  Cindy did want money for a bus ride because her husband had cancer and they had to get to the hospital and then to her in laws.  But that is where my stale and probably ungodly pre-conceived notions stopped.

Ive been around situations like this all my life, especially being on staff of a local church.  I have this internal program that kicks in when I encounter someone like this. The program makes me think that, among other sweeping generalizations, that all panhandlers immediately take the money they get and run straight to the nearest crack dealer. But this time I actually had time to talk with cindy and, according to my program, prove that this panhandler was likely a liar and a drug user.

I walked with her to the bus station expecting at anytime for her story to change. We rounded a corner and there was an elderly man standing by a bus. His name was Ormel and he wasted no time in telling me about his cancer, surgeries and even raised his shirt to show his recent post op scars (I didnt ask for this but I think God wanted to confirm every detail of the story). I did ask the bus driver how much a ride was which he confirmed that a day pass was $4.00 one for Ormel and one for Cindy.

Before I walked back to the warmth of the sanctuary I prayed for them and then watched the bus pull away with my two new friends and no crack heads or drug dealers in sight.  Every detail of Cindy's story was true and everyone of my pre conceived notions false.  Time for me to start thinking again.

My prayer - Lord let me see through your eyes without pretense; let me give like you would without judgement; let me love like you would - period!

I wanna be a macho man

I wanna be a macho man

At least I do in the way that my late grandpa, John Vietti said; and it has nothing to do with the village people or randy savage.

Let me explain.

The year was 1988 and I had just graduated with my undergrad degree, accepted my first full time youth pastors position and moved in with my grandparents (not so much for free-loading but to establish myself financially before getting my first apartment). My grandfather was a feisty Italian man who always had something humorous to say, a joke to tell or a prank to pull.
I remember the day he came home from a doctor’s appointment, which also happened to be his 50th wedding anniversary. He walked through the door with his mesh baseball hat cocked back and sideways (way before it was gangsta) and said, “buddy, I told the nurses in the office today that I’m a macho man!”

Last week was my 21st wedding* anniversary and I was reflecting on the following story and contemplating how I too can be a macho man; even one of biblical proportions. Ok, so back to the story.

I figured, I’d bite, ok grandpa, why are you a macho man. He said I told all those pretty nurses that I’m macho because I made the same woman love me for 50 years. Anyone can get someone to love them for a couple years or even 5; but im at 50 and counting.

I decided that day I wanted nothing more in my life than to be macho.

Thanks grandpa, I miss you.



*happy anniversary babe. You are awesome for sticking with me and for making me look good by you looking so good; I mean drop dead gorgeous. Thanks for sticking with me even though I’m not yet half a macho man; but with your help in another 29 I’ll get there.

Wanted: Dreamers

Dreamers wanted but not all dreamers are wanted.

There have been times in history that dreamers were wanted men. They were wanted because their ideas, hope and beliefs were counter cultural, revolutionary. Men like Joseph and dr king suffered great losses from their dreams. Today more than ever men and women need to dream; big, elaborate and often.

Some have misunderstood dreams. Some dismiss them as passive nocturnal entertainment. Freud treated dreams as "the royal road to the unconscious," a thesis that served his general conviction that consciousness, the reasoned control of life, constitutes only the surface part of the energies that propel or immobilize persons. Some dreams require sleep, some require imagination but both require fuel, hard work and tenacity.

Before I invite you to a dreamers symposium, please be inspired by some innovative pioneers; dreamers that changed the landscape of everything we know.

Joseph from the Bible
The Bible says that, “Joseph dreamed a dream”. Too bad his dream got his dream got him beat, almost left for dead and ultimately sold into slavery. The story turns out good, actually, really good but it just goes to show 1, share your dreams cautiously and 2, when you share them find a friendly audience, especially if the dream could result in the unwanted involvement of others.

Dr Martin Luther King Jr
The only one on this list to have a dream that did not require sleep. His dream is also one that everyone who reads this needs to re-dream themselves. A dream of equality, freedom and justice. A dream that took many waking hours to partially come true.

Here is the invite...

Now the invitation - The December 6, "UnConference"

Click here for more info and registration info - cost is totally free. Were NOT selling anything, promoting anything or attempting to DO anything unless its a GOD THING.


December 6th and 7th DFW area youth pastors and workers want to invite you to join us for a day of prayer and dreaming.

There will be no advertising, marketing, or pitches. Our purpose for gathering is straightforward: We want to come together to pray for the youth in our communities and dream about how God might use us to help them know Him more deeply.

And now for some more dreamers...

Albert Einstein
Einstein had a teenage dream (long before Katy Perry). He dreamed that he was sledding down a steep hill at night, his sled traveled faster and faster, until it approached the speed of light. At that speed, the stars and night sky were transformed into a dazzling spectrum of colors.
Einstein once told a journalist, "that my entire scientific career has been a meditation on that dream."

Robert Louis Stevenson
The novelist Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) described dreams as occurring in "that small theater of the brain which we keep brightly lighted all night long." Dr Jeckle and Mr Hyde and Treasure Island are some of his most famous works.
From an early age, his dreams were so vivid and moving that they were more entertaining to him personally than any literature. He learned early in his life that he could dream complete stories and that he could even go back to the same dreams on succeeding nights to give them a different ending. Later he trained himself to remember his dreams and to dream plots for his books.

Carl Jung
Jung wrote of his early dream journals, " All my works, all my creative activity, has come from those initial dreams which began in 1912, almost fifty years ago. Everything that I accomplished in later life was already contained in them, although at first only in the form of emotions and images. "

President Abraham Lincoln
Lincoln dreamed about his assassination.
" About ten days ago, I retired very late. I had been up waiting for important dispatches from the front. I could not have been long in bed when I fell into a slumber, for I was weary. I soon began to dream. There seemed to be death-like stillness about me. Then I heard subdued sobs, as if a number of people were weeping. I thought I left my bed and wandered downstairs. There the silence that was broken by the same pitiful sobbing, but the mourners were invisible. I went from room to room; no living person was in sight, but the same mournful sounds of distress met me as I passed along. It was light in all the rooms; every object was familiar to me; but where were all the people who were grieving as if their hearts would break? I was puzzled and alarmed. What could be the meaning of all this? Determined to find the cause of a state of things so mysterious and so shocking, I kept on until I arrived at the East Room, which I entered there I met with a sickening surprise. Before me was a catafalque, on which rested a corpse wrapped in funeral vestments. Around it were stationed soldiers who were acting as guards; and there was a throng of people, some gazing mournfully upon the corpse, whose face was covered, others weeping pitifully. "Who is dead in the White House?" I demanded of one of the soldiers " The President " was his answer; " he was killed by an assassin! Then came a loud burst of grief from the crowd, which awoke me from my dream. "

General George Patton
General George Patton, when at the battlefield on Langres France, said to his driver that he already knew the place. He told his driver where to go and said it was as if someone were whispering directions in his ear. He correctly went to the Ancient Roman Amphitheater, The Drill Grounds, The Forum and even correctly went to the spot where Caesar had pitched his tent. "You see, I've been here before " He had been there in his dream.

Jack Nicklaus
Nicklaus credits a dream for finding a new way to hold his golf club.
"Wednesday night I had a dream and it was about my golf swing. I was hitting them pretty good in the dream and all at once I realized I wasn't holding the club the way I've actually been holding it lately. I've been having trouble collapsing my right arm taking the club head away from the ball, but I was doing it perfectly in my sleep. So when I came to the course yesterday morning I tried it the way I did in my dream and it worked. I shot a sixty-eight yesterday and a sixty-five today."

Famous People Who Were Not Perfect

Sometimes the things that make us great have the ability to pull us down OR challenge us to greatness. Here are some examples of icon of success that could have just as well been failures. Question of the day - What made them different?



Walt Disney: Walt was fired from the Kansas City newspaper for not being creative enough and was considered “slow” as a child. He is now considered one of the best known motion picture producers in the world, and holds the record for the most awards and most nominations.


Albert Einstein: Arguably the greatest physicist of all time. Known for his theory of relativity and E=mc2. He revolutionized the way we think of the universe and opened up our eyes to the possibilities in front of us.


Winston Churchill: Was Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and one of the greatest political leaders of the twentieth century. Known for his powerful speeches it’s ironic that he had a stuttering problem and hated school and math.


Alexander Graham Bell: Well known as the inventor of the telephone and one of the founders of National Geographic Society, had dyslexia, poor grades, and a general indifference towards almost everything except science.


Thomas Edison: Patenting over 1000 inventions including the light bulb, Edison had dyslexia, difficulty with speaking and words, was considered too dumb to be in school, and hated mathematics.


George Patton: Patton was most known for leading the U.S. in World War II as an Army General. In World War I he was a senior commander of the new tank corps. He was deficient in reading throughout his whole life and had to memorize his lectures just to get by.

Worms, Birds, In-Vetro, Jiggling Belt Exercisers and Early Adopting

The early bird gets the worm – good for them but if that expression is supposed to inspire me to be an early adopter; it’s not working.

I do get excited about the champion visionaries that begin a noble project with no support, little fact but lots of passion and determination. I’m inspired by the brief tales of Columbus who “knew” the world was round or Roger Banister who believed that man could break the 4 minute mile barrier (and did) or even John Wycliffe (one of the earliest opponents of papal authority and translator of Latin scripture to English) who had a vision that every person could read the Bible in their own language. This makes me want to eat a worm or, more germane to the point, be more passion about something that I believe in even though it may not be a popular or proven “fact”.

Today I am inspired again by a name I didn’t know but who’s work everyone is familiar with, Robert G. Edwards. Everyone will recognize his work from his headline, ‘ ‘The Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine 2010 was awarded to Robert G. Edwards "for the development of in vitro fertilization".’ http://bit.ly/dogCnZ

Edwards began his work on in vitro in the late 50’s and early 60’s. In 1977 with help from Patrick Steptoe, Edwards successfully carried out a pioneering conception which resulted in the birth of the world's first baby to be conceived by IVF, Louise Brown on 25 July 1978, in Oldham General Hospital, Greater Manchester, UK. Almost everyone has heard of in vetro (in the glass) fertilization. In the US, ART cycles started in 2006 resulted in 41,343 births (54,656 infants), which is slightly more than 1% of total US births. That means there are a lot of happy parents and “test tube babies” out there because of Edwards tenacious belief and tireless work. Some additional accomplishments include: In 2007, Edwards was ranked 26th in The Daily Telegraph's list of 100 greatest living geniuses and of course the announcement of his Noble Prize today, October 4, 2010.

There is a lot of time between the late 50”s and 2010; it made me think about tipping points and early adopting of ideas. The graphic above shows the route from nothing to something. I’ve used this graph to illustrate the life of a great idea, program, leadership initiative or just something to consider for future planning on how to plan. You can see this in play around us in companies like Apple (think adoption of iPhone), Presidential campaigns (yes we can) and even the current “overnight success” rock band, video game or social media (where you using Twitter six months, a year or two years ago?). Everett Rogers is usually linked with the genesis of early adopter thought.

The Everett Rogers Diffusion of innovations theory - for any given product category, there are five categories of product adopters:
 Innovators – venturesome, educated, multiple info sources; (2.5%)
 Early adopters – social leaders, popular, educated; (13.5%)
 Early majority – deliberate, many informal social contacts; (34%)
 Late majority – skeptical, traditional, lower socio-economic status; (34%)
 Laggards – neighbours and friends are main info sources, fear of debt; (16%)


So how does this relate to youth work, churches, non profits or families? Here are a couple of my own take aways.
1. Stack the deck – you need innovators before you can reach your early adopters. Use your leadership for early and much needed buy in.
2. Focus. Remember the light that shines the farthest shines the brightest at home. Go after strategic small groups in your sphere of influence before you start going after the masses who don’t know you or are not ready to be influenced by you just yet. Think sniper riffle not shotgun. Think laser beam not florescent light.
3. Pace yourself. Big ideas and big programs usually take more time to get out so realize that this is a process. Know on the front side you are running a marathon, not a sprint. The race belongs to the steady.
4. About half of the people are going to be late adopters at best. More than likely, they will be detractors. The good news is that you will only have between 16 and 50 of the people who will not embrace this. These are actually good odds. And there is a high likelihood that lots of late adapters will eventually come your way. See number 2.
5. Accept the fact that some will never see your way. I believe people still use typewriters, 8 track players and those things that jiggle your butt from the 1950’s that were supposed to make you lose weight.

Rewind - AYM MISSION TRIP

This summer Pure Group lead the student ministry from Church of the Apostles in Coppell on a 3 day missional journey (aka mission trip). Our Goal was to reach people in the DFW metroplex: our own back yard. We helped build a youth building, fed and hung out with Refugees and served at a back-to-School outreach event, the trip was Awesome.

The first day was Thursday August 12. Everyone met at Church to load up the vans. We traveled to Oak Cliff to help build a Youth Facility for Spirit and Truth Church; It was a blast. Our jobs for the day were texturing and painting. Jordan and Freddy rocked the painting and did an amazing job. Together they finished the whole exterior of the building before lunch. As for the rest of us we got to work inside, (without the luxury of A/C) texturing the ceilings and the walls. It was great; texture and tape were flying everywhere. Amanda, Peter, Jackson, Kevin, and I were tearing it up. Halfway threw it got a little crazy when the building started having electrical issues and we had to take off half of the wall to fix it, and then put it back on. After a hard days work, we "dinned" at one of the best burger place in Dallas...Wingfieds. Their Burgers are bigger than persons face and definitely a highlight to the event.

Then we traveled to the West End Plaza where we "Bought Jesus a Big Mac". This was probably one of the best things we did on the whole trip.

We bought Big Macs and asked God to send us to someone who needed food, prayer, someone to talk to or even a friend. The responses were amazing, some wanted to talk, some wanted food and some only wanted prayer. It was a great finish to an already great day. God used us to help build a place for his children to worship, and then he showed us how we can worship on the street with strangers. Thursday was a great day.

Friday we all got to the Church early to make lunches. The plan for the day was to go to an East Dallas apartment populated with refugees from Angola, Burundi and the Congo. We spent all morning making lunches, packing crackers and chips, planning out games and songs, and throwing peanut butter and jelly at each other, I mean making PBJ sandwiches. After making about 300 lunches we packed the Van and headed out. When we arrived at the apartment complex we were accosted by a couple hundred kids. It was an amazing experience to feed and play with the kids. Their biggest want - attention, and they would do almost anything to get it from you, like take your hat, play with your hair (Lindsey and Amanda), climb on you, or just about anything they could think of to make you give them 2 sec of your time. We played soccer, climbed on trees, played tag, and just hung out for about 4 hours. It was a true God moment for all of use, to be able to share the love of Jesus with these kids.

After escaping a MOB, I am not joking the kids formed a mob, we headed back to Oak Cliff on a mission for Stone Soup. We took the students to Fiesta Market (an unknown place for most of our suburbanites), gave them $3.00 for each member of our team (the local average for dinners in the area we were working) and told them they had to provide a healthy, eatable dinner for the whole crew: that means plan, purchase, cook and clean up for it - all without adult supervision. The hardest part about the whole thing was getting teenagers to agree on what they wanted for dinner. But after 30 minutes of shopping they finally came to a conclusion - jambalaya. Next they had to go cook for everyone and they only had 1 hour to do it all. We learned a very valuable lesson that day, If Jacksons in the kitchen, NO one else is in the kitchen. When it was all done everything was great, there was just enough food to go around and it tasted pretty good to. God used us that day to spread his love to the refugees, and showed us how we don’t have to leave to country to help people in need. We also learned and felt what it might be like to live and eat like a low income family.

On the last day of our trip we were able to serve and be a part of a back-to-school event at Reconciliation Outreach in east Dallas. We took 3 inflatables and had a mini carnival. Once again we got to play with kids all day and share the Love of Jesus with them. The event was designed to give back to the community; we gave away lots of school supplies, and also provided free food. It was a great afternoon. We ended around 1pm in the 104 degree weather and called it quits.

The Ultimate Goal of the trip, and all mission trips, was to grow the Kingdom of God and I truly believe that in part, we accomplished that this summer. From praying with people on the street, to letting kids climb all over us, to working together to make a family meal, to running inflatable’s for an outreach. We did something this summer that was beyond ourselves, we served others, and shared the love of Jesus. This year’s AYM Mission trip was Awesome, and I truly believe we grew the Kingdom of God.

--Aaron Wilfong, Guest Blogger

Word-Nerd: my new fav part of speech

Ok, so, i'm a bit of a nerd. I like star trek and star wars (and the vast differences between their universes) and LOTR and, and.... But i'm also a word-nerd; i like words, word-smithing, and parts of speech. Up until yesterday, my favorite parts of speech were onomatopoeia, hyperbole and alteration. Now i have a new fav...paraprosdokia! yep, i also just figured out Jack Handy - take that SNL!

Why is this useful? Glad you asked. Especially in public speaking one wants listeners to remember the wisdom imparted. These are a few ways to help. They assist with not only remembering but can add spice and pizazz (just like colorful adjectives) to messages as well.

Lets review
onomatopoeia - a word that makes its own sound like buzz or burp
hyperbole - over exaggeration used to make a statement and not to be taken literally, like instead of saying i'm hungry one would say i'm starving to death.
alliteration - using a repeating sound in words (it can be but is not limited to the first letter) for example: Greta Gruber grabbed a group of green grapes. or some mammals are clammy.

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or re-interpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

Examples.
1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

4. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.



comments??

Lincoln had many reasons to have a bad attitude

Lincoln's Attitude

Your attitude is communicated to others in three ways,—7 percent by words, 38 percent by tone of voice and 55 percent in non-verbal ways, such as posture.


Those who have the most to overcome in life are often the ones who make the most of it. People usually consider Abraham Lincoln one of the top 5 of the best presidents of all time. Look at some of his many obstacles.

If anyone had a "reason" to have a bad attitude, it was Lincoln.


* He had to work to support his family after they were forced out of their home. 1816
* His mother died. 1818
* Failed in business. 1831
* Was defeated for legislature. 1832
* Lost his job and couldn't get into law school. 1832
* Declared bankruptcy, and spent the next 17 years of his life paying off the money
he borrowed from friends to start his business. 1833
* Was defeated for legislature again. 1834
* Was engaged to be married, but his sweetheart died and his heart was broken. 1835
* Had a nervous breakdown and spent the next six months in bed. 1836
* Was defeated in becoming the speaker of the state legislature. 1838
* Was defeated in becoming elector. 1840
* Was defeated for Congress 1843
* Was defeated for Congress. 1846
* Was defeated for Congress again. 1848
* Was rejected for the job of Land Officer in his home state. 1849
* Was defeated for Senate. 1854
* Was defeated for Vice-President -- got less than 100 votes. 1856
* Was defeated for Senate for the third time. 1858
* Was elected President of the United States. 1860

+PurePass = Pure Growth

One of the things God built me for was helping others become more than they are. I love to help and see people grow. It's awesome! Because of that I teach in a local college, serve in a local youth ministry, coach my kids athletic teams and heck, I even have an organic herb garden in the back yard.

This Fall Pure Group and Pure YMR are providing a way to train Youth Pastors and Youth Workers while at the same time providing some fun for them and their families AND saving money while doing it. It's called +PurePass and here is how is works.



We have partnered with several local ministries and entertainment venues to bring you Pure Pass. Here are a few: Hawaiian Falls, Speed Zone, Inflataparty, Christ for the Nations, Wisdom Works and FCA just to name a few. And we are offering litereally thousands of dollars of training and entertainment for $299. For more info see visit us at http://www.pureymr.com/ymrpurepass.html or email Rawd@puregroup.org

Sign up before September 30 and receive a digital dowload of 7 Pillars of Tomrrows Youth Ministry

freedom in memphis

taking things for granite is just wrong.

the ibc group is experiencing how simple things like food, shelter and safety are not nessarily freebies in life but involve choices; and those choices often effect our personal freedoms.

we began by experinning the rich history of this kingdom of memphis.  we learned about its lofty position on the mississippi which was ripe for its kingly crop, cotton. we discussed its king sized problem with slavery. we also noted a monicharichal influence in music, since this is dubbed, birthplace of rock n roll (bb king and elvis, the king of rock n roll). we talked about the reverend king, dr martin luthur, who's KINGDOM ideas solidified the modern civil rights movement.

by the end of the day we will contrast this kingdom with the heavenly kingdom and earthly kings with the king of kings.

a true benevolent king is one who provides safety, opportunity and ultimate freedom for their subjects. we are glad more than ever we serve christ the, the king of kings, the ultimate master and freedom giver.

a picture is worth....... we'll you get the idea

i was gonna drop a post about little feet, big shoes, goals, perseverance, etc, but i thought i'd let the pictures work for me.

Radio Flyer Customer Service Kudos

Pretty sure i'm loving Radio Flyer.

sometimes i think customer service is almost a dead concept; or at least the way i define it. I see it as putting oneself in the shoes of the customer and giving them what they need. it is art and science; passion and pro-activity. often i wonder if they only people that anticipate my needs are telemarketers (actually they anticipate not my needs but attempt to create a want).

i bought Radio Flyer trycicle for my daughter when she was 3, she is now 9. it is still in good shape except for a small plastic part attaching the front wheel to the forks. i'm thinking if i can find this small and hopefully inexpensive part, this trike is good for my 18 month old son. i called RF hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

let me vent....

usually the worst is calling and...
1. getting lost in an endless maze of phone prompts
2. having access to dozens of phone prompts, none of which are what i need
3. talking to some one named fred with a distinct india accent
4. having a hard time hearing "fred" because "bob", "mike", "sue" and "nancy" are in the background talking too loud (they are probably all in a cubical built for one
5. after actually talking to a live person, they have to transfer me to someone else because i'm invariably in the wrong department
6. after actually talking to a live person, they have to transfer me to someone else because i'm invariably in the wrong department
7. after actually talking to a live person, they have to transfer me to someone else because i'm invariably in the wrong department
8. after actually talking to a live person, they have to transfer me to someone else because i'm invariably in the wrong department
9. finally, i get to a person in the right department and they locate my part, order it for me but have to transfer me to another department because they cant process my credit card
10. being disconnected at any time

my rant is over, but thanks for indulging me, i feel better.

back to RF saving the day.

i dialed the number from the website. i got an easy, understandable prompt, was transferred to the warranty department. i told them the model number, they didnt ask for a warranty card, phone number or anything. they said, we would love to send replacement parts, and by the way we'll also send new pedals to make it look better. no credit card needed. free. they came in the mail today, exactly 2 days later.

wow!

dear RF, thanks for making my day and giving me belief in customer service. i think i'll go out to eat tonight. indian food, they have great service.


youth ministry application - what brand of customer service are you providing? customers range from regular attenders, parents and especially, potential new customers, 1st time visitors. what do your staff and regulars "sale" newbies? what happens when someone wants a "refund" or needs to file a complaint?

The Communication Process

I was thinking about how much of life revolves around communication. I then started thinking about communicating and the communication process. First of all, I am always trying to be a better communicator. I believe the better communicator i am, the more successful i will be. Secondly, most of my ffriends and coleagues are communicators and I thougth the following reminder on the communication process would be valuable for us all (this is an excerpt from a seminar i do called Classic and Relevant Communication).

What Communication is
1. Thought: First, information exists in the mind of the sender. This can be a concept, idea, information, or feelings, etc.
2. Encoding: Next, a message is sent to a receiver in words, symbols or other forms of communication.
3. Delivery: the message must be sent in some way, shape, form or fashion.
4. Decoding: lastly, the receiver translates the words or other ideas into a concept or information that they can understand.

Context is the way the message is delivered and is known as Paralanguage - it includes the tone of voice, the look in the sender's eye's, body language, hand gestures, and state of emotions that can be detected. Although context often causes messages to be misunderstood as we believe what we see more than what we hear; they are powerful communicators that help us to understand each other. Please note that we often trust the accuracy of nonverbal behaviors more than verbal behaviors.

Feedback. Most observers believe that verbal communication and context each count for approximately half of the communication process. The only way to accurately know that the intended message was sent and received properly, is to get feedback.

Three General Rules of the Communication Process

1. Listeners Filter Information. Although you communicate in a way that seems clear to you, the receiver of the communication filters the information through a very complicated set of pre- conceptions that can function to distort the message received.

2. Receivers Listen Selectively. They hear and process some things and gate out other things. That means that while you may have explained the "whole picture", is it likely that the whole thing wasn't received.

3. Feedback is Security. The only way you can ensure that you have created common understanding is by asking the other people what they heard, and what are their reactions to it.

I know the above is rather stoic and so, not at all how i deliver information. I just wanted to send some thoughts and challenge us all to be mindful of our communications at every level. If you would like more info please email me.

Today was free day; not sure why. Or how.

Today was free day; not sure why. Or how.

I heard a couple of days ago that there is a restaurant in town that gives free dinner on Monday nights. Seriously, free. And this place is a pretty up scale place. I've been wanting to eat there for a while, and i even planned on paying. but two days ago i heard they were free so i called and got reservations for tonight. I'm even taking some friends, my treat!

So dinner was covered.

I went for coffee at a local coffee shop, "coffee in a mug please" and i held a five dollar bill out.
She smiled and said, "well, i don't have a cash drawer right now, and it's only coffee". Cool. I'm sure it had nothing to do with my high likability or pithy pleasantries; all which were present.

Coincidental? It was only two freebies.

At lunch time my daughter and i had to run errands. i noticed a local sandwich shop was opening up near me, and i love their spicy pepper gardinara. I was excited and we went it to grab a jar and a bite. they said i couldn't buy the gardinara because today was a grand opening for friends and family. And even though i couldn't buy my beloved condiment we could get free sandwiches, sides and drinks. Score! Oh, and they even through in the gardina in the end.

Really, i don't deserve any of it, I'm nobody special.

So, wow, what a great day and its only 4:22pm. Maybe free dessert, or maybe i should buy a lottery ticket. No, what I'm gonna do is share my happiness by way of bloggging and add some happy commentary.

Free stuff is cool and truly the best things in life are free. Can you name a few i can, and 9 of the top 10 all have names. Besides my freedom in Christ and the gift of free salvation which is the best gift of all, relationships with friends and family are president. I am blessed to have an incredible (and hot) wife and awesome kids. I also have the best friends in the world; I'm sure the envy of everyone.

I'm not gonna get greedy now but i am gonna look for other free things; not dead presidents floating on the ground or looking for someone to hand me the keys to their 2010 Range Rover (although i wouldn't refuse). I'm gonna keep my eyes open to little free things that i normally miss. I'm gonna have my free radar on and I'm gonna appreciate all the things in my life, especially the most important and valuable and crucial freebies; love and relationships.

Throw out the Manual or Marry it

its been over a week and i'm still chewing on a conversation i had with mathew deblanc. in the context of formalizing ministry responsibility he said, "throw out the manual or you marry it." i was intrigued.

honestly, i've spent hours and days banging out the perfect manual; full of procedures, flow charts, org charts and wanna be attorney speak. i cringed as i wrote but i was sure the end result would be worth it. not sure that it was. sure, i felt good about finishing a challenging task but that logic could applied to moving a mound of manure too. i also felt good about the fact that i could stick a manual in someones hand, basically abdicate my responsibility and if anything went wrong (although, according the manual, it shouldn't), i could fix the problem and ask if the culprit followed the proceeder in the manual. Wait, are we still talking about manure?

ok, so maybe i need to cut back on the legal jargon in my instructions, trainings and emails (or probably anything i write) but can i just cut back and not throw it all away? i guess cutting is a start but the result i want to achieve from throwing out all the wasted words is RELATIONSHIP. it is much easier to write than train, to press send than to have a conversation over coffee. some think that cell phones are impersonal but even a brief conversation is better than an email or way better than a text message.

There is wisdom in throwing out the manual but i'm curious about what other manuals are being written.

* The one for the interns - if i don't have time for all direct reports, i need to reconsider my priorities.
* The one for the staff - i shouldn't assume that paycheck = teamwork.
* The one for my wife - just because i communicated my love for you yesterday doesn't mean i shouldn't reconfirm it today.
* The one for my kids - provision, sacrifice, good intentions and personal exhaustion all pale in comparison to reading a book to a wide eye impressionable ball of potential.

so trade people for paper any day, anytime and all the time. exchange time for typing and relationship for regurgitation.

To Save A Life

I recently attended a pre screening of the movie, To Save A Life. I have to admit; 5 days later I’m still rewinding and replaying.

The movie was relevant. It was professionally shot, produced and packaged. It leveraged the best talent and made a movie that teenagers would relate to. At times I didn’t know if I was watching TSAL or Adam Herz.

This was not a “Christian” movie. The word “Christian” makes a great noun, “I am a 'Christian'”. But the word also makes a horrible adjective (ie “Christian” movie). This movie played to Christian themes and came from a solid moral base but didn’t have a Disneyesque happy ending, not all the female actors wore turtle necks during the pool scene and not all the language was taken from the Baptist Quarterly.

It was an effective launch point for deep discussion. Any savvy teen would be able to bring a friend to and use this movie as a basis for natural, intentional, gospel presentation. The way the issues were dealt with in real time and not neatly packaged actually left for post movie, Starbucks dialogue.

The door was opened on several controversial issues (almost too many at the risk of plot deluge) and light was cast on heavy challenges teens face on a daily basis. The movie guided the challenges in a way for constructive conversation and positive situation handling where most teen movies just leave the heavy issue hanging out there or even have the movie deal with it in a way we would not.

In the end the movie was entertaining but the real value is that is a powerful tool. When priming would be viewers it would be wise NOT to compare this movie with a 75 million dollar thriller. Even tough TSAL can hold its own, at the end of the day, we want our teens trained and walking away with a tool that that can be used to help their friends more than a laugh and half a bag of popcorn.