Sunday, February 04, 2007
marriage is the second most important decisions one makes in their entire life. but the season of life when one makes that decisions is sometimes tumultious. the person themselves is underdeveloped, busy and often unprepared to make a decisions of this magnitude.
the following are some simple guidelines to help in this process
1. know the facts that make for a great marriage - rutgers university released an interesting study in what factors make for a great marriage. i'm combining them with my advice below.
2. only marry when you are totally sick of being single and you cannot live another day without being married.
3. only marry your best friend of the opposite sex (and best friend period).
4. only marry when you have the ushey gushey, heart palpitation, palm sweating when i sit next to them feeling (but not that alone),
5. consider your plight's in life. if you want to run for congress and she wants to go to botswana with the peace corps you may have a challenge,
6. dont marry the person you think you can live with, marry the one you cant live without,
7. have an income of $50,000.oo or more so you don't have to squabble about money matters,
8. don't have a baby until at least 7 months after marriage (hint it takes babies 9 months to be born -just wait1),
9. get married after you are 25 years old (you change soooo much from 18 - 25),
10. if you come from a nuclear family it will be easier for you to have one, but if not, this is the only thing on the list that is out of your hands completely,
11. have some college education,
12. have a christ centered home or at least some religious affiliation,
13. and lastly, develop a top ten list* and don't marry until you find someone with 8 out of ten qualities on that list.
*ABOUT THE TOP 10 LIST any quality or characteristic can make the list from big muscles to big brains, musical ability to mathematical ability. * i would caution against more than one physical characteristic. i mean if physically attractive (i know this is open for interpretation and because it is YOUR list, it is your interpretation) is important to you list it and if you have to list blonde do it too, but that should really be enough on the physicall. * make sure you include everything that is important to you and limit it to 10 so you can be concise and it will also help you to really think. if at the end of the day you need to have 11, go ahead, you deserve it, but not 20 (you don't deserve it and Barbie is only a doll).* put them in order if you want. or you don't have to. if number 1 and 2 are deal breakers, them order them in importance rankings. i recommend you make them all as even as you can. this it self is another mental exercise (and another blog).* the simpler, the better. when you get 8 out of 10, if you have done your work right, hey... in closing i'll leave you my list as i remember it (this is going back twenty some years ago, so be patient). also this is NOT in order.