Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The (not so) Trivial Pursuit

Do you play the game?  Relationships are not a game but they should be a priorital pursuit.

“You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” – Charles “Tremendous” Jones

I”v been thinking lately of the power of relationships.  Relationships are a powerful force and often difficult to define, analyze or substantiate.  Its a good thing we get to talk about building healthy relationships instead of some other more complicated aspect of them.

Some people are born extraverts and built for many surface relationships, while others gravitate toward fewer people in their life but cultivate depth...A Servant Leader Builds Healthy Relationships.

1.  Find out who you want to build relationships withMake a top 10 list of the things that make for the best relationships.  This could be anything from someone who is a giver to someone that is tall.  You get to pick whatever you think makes a great relationship and use that to help you decide who has those qualities.  Once you create that, list 3 people with the most qualities on your list.

2.  Pursue upward relationshipsIf you want to have a happy divorce free marriage, here is how to do that, maintain friendships with happy married couples.  If you want to make lots of money, here is how to do that... become friends with people who make more money than you (infact you can determine your annual salary by finding the average salary of your closest 5 friends).  The point here is that you can maintain status quo by maintaining current relationship status or you can make friends with peole who are better than you.  Yes, that means you will become a better person too.

3.  Flesh and blood is best but there are other waysSome of my best friends are authors and speakers who have yet to have the privilidge of meeting me.  But they are still friends that influence my life.  Sometimes i need a friend to listen, sometimes i need my friends to instruct me.  Sometimes i need a friend with skin on sometimes I dont.

4.  Be thankfulWhen i become friends with new and interesting people, i try to think them.  A quick email or text message saying how i appreciate their friendship them.  Last night I spent time wiht a mentor/friend and after hearing some INCREDIBLE things he is doing (finishing his third book and entering his documentary about a 12 year old African girl who walks 8 miles a day to provide water for her family) I just told him how much more i appreciated his friendship because of the awesome things he is doing for God.  Hey, I’ve even been known to send starbucks cards to new friends. Oh, and birthday messages for my friends are a must!

5.  Stay in TouchYou ever heard the phrase, “out of sight, out of mind”?  Well its, true.  I’ve found out that when I take responsibility to keep in touch with friends we usually stay in touch.  Of course there are those who endeavor to stay in touch with me too; either way, friends stay connected.  A personal monthly email, txt message or call is all it takes.  Time over coffee is cool too, if you can find it.

6.  Be a healthy relationshiper Not all friendships are created equal.  some of my friends are lights years ahead of me in terms of career, finance or just plain better people than me.  Some are not quite there yet, but I choose friends of all types.  Yes, I encourage upward pursuit of friends, but just remember there are those who see you as an upward pursuit; find time for them too.

So, there it is, a not-complete guide to build healthy relationships.  Here is a little secret that makes it all work....make the development and maintenance of healthy friendship one of your top priorities every day!

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